Our entire lives are shaped by the stories we create – and the stories that have been created for us that we have chosen to believe. When we are born we know nothing. Actually I think we know everything – we’ve just forgotten, but that’s a different blog. Everything we know now is based on what we were told or what we where shown by our parents, teachers, friends, politicians, religion, media, etc. As if this thought isn’t frightening enough – we are also programmed to believe that we shouldn’t question “authority” and in some cases we shouldn’t even ask questions. I was an adult before I was able to get over my fear that I would go to hell if I even questioned any of the things I had been taught about God. Once I broke through that one it was like the rug of my existence was pulled out from underneath me and I began to question everything.
I now realize that the world I live in was created by other people. People who live in fear. People who have bought into the whole control and accumulation game. Piece by piece the foundations and beliefs that I have based my entire life on are starting to crumble – and this is a very good thing. This means I get to create my life going forward based on what I believe – without the need to control the lives that others are creating for themselves. Fortunately many of my friends are coming to this same conclusion, and the new people that I am meeting are also of this same vibration. Sadly, those that are still stuck in the control games don’t fit in my new story right now. I will continue to love them from a distance and will welcome them back lovingly when and if our energetic vibrations match again.
Now I get to look at the stories that I’ve chosen to believe – and decide if I still want to believe them. There is one in particular that I’ve been struggling with. About 35 years ago I was told by someone that I thought was a very good friend “nobody likes to talk to you because you only talk about yourself”. I’m really good at blocking bad memories – but this one has stayed with me. I’ve been working on letting it go for several years now. I’ve let the person go, but the belief was with me for so long it is taking a lot to break it down.
I am a great listener. Complete strangers will tell me their life stories. Friends find themselves telling me things they’ve never told to other people. People like to talk to me. Somewhere along the line though I stopped trying to talk to them. Whenever I start to tell a story about me I start watching for signs that they are not really interested. If I pause and they jump in about themselves, I just let them go on because they obviously don’t want to hear my story – they want to tell their own. At the first eyeroll or sign of boredom I cut my story short. I no longer try to converse with people while they are telling their story because I don’t want them to feel the way I feel when I get cut off or shut down. I even had one friend put her hand up in front of me and say “let me finish” when I tried to make a comment about a story she was telling me. It was a very boring detailed story about people I didn’t even know and she made me feel like I had to stand there and listen intently without talking. WHY do I continue to attract these people to me? I think it’s because I still believe that story.
I have a great story and people want to hear it. I’m also a good listener for those that want someone to listen. For those that just want someone to talk at…. I’m not around very long for them. That’s the story I’m choosing to believe now.