I’ve been spending a lot of time meditating, praying and asking for guidance and direction. I love it when I recognize the signs and answers from this type of reflection. I don’t usually see the signs right away. They come to me in many different forms until finally I cannot ignore the fact that I keep getting the same message or word over and over and over. Once I finally see the sign, I realize just how many times it was right in front of me and I looked right through it or past it. I also know that with this one there was also a bit of denial, resistance, and outright ignoring what I was seeing!
As with most of my blogs, the process of writing is also part of the process of discovery. WHY do I have so much resistance to this word? Why am I having such a difficult time even writing the word now???
There it is. My big scary word. I did some training recently and I chose the topic of Coachability, and I had to admit to myself and everyone in the class that I have a problem with setting clear and specific goals. I also admitted to them that I did recently complete a 21 day coaching program where I had to set 2 personal and 2 professional goals. I resisted, but pushed through the program and at the end I met all of my goals. You would think that would have been a huge AHA for me and I would have learned the magic of setting, tracking and following through with my goals. In a way I did, but not enough for me to set new goals and keep the momentum going. It has been almost 3 months since I competed that 21 day program, and I am now finally WILLING to see the signs that I have been receiving that it is time for me to set some real goals.
I can’t help but reflect back to try and figure out why I have such a block about setting goals. I used to set goals, and I have achieved many goals in the past. But that was then, and this is now. I’ve grown a lot in the last 5 years. My growth started with a message to let go. I have let go of a lot. I have let go of who I used to be, who I thought I was, what I thought I wanted, what I was willing to allow, what I thought was real, what I did for a living, and so much more. I worked so hard for all of those things, and many of them were achieved through setting goals. I must now let go of the FEAR that is keeping me from setting new goals. The fear is that if I work hard to attain these new goals that I will eventually have to let go of them too. This seriously just hit me as I was writing this. I love the power of blogging!
Fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. If I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now and knowing what I had to let go of, I would not change a thing. Just because I let go of the old me doesn’t mean that the life I had before wasn’t amazing. It was. AND… just because I let go of the things and the positions that I obtained by reaching my goals, I will always have the lessons and the experiences. There is nothing to FEAR! Once again I am setting Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Trackable Goals. Watch out world…. I’m back and I am EXCITED!!!