A setback is just a set up for a come back!

Well, I did it again. Fell off the face of the blogosphere for a while. And right after my post about goals and my claim to watch out world because I am back! It’s all good though, and I’m here to remind you that it’s okay to have a set back. I’m also here to tell remind you that there is no set time frame for how long you have before you come back again. For me it was more than 6 months.

I honestly had no idea that it had been so long since I last blogged. I’ve been keeping myself busy, and didn’t even realize that I had fallen off. They say time flies when you are having fun. Time also flies when you are in denial. That’s what happened to me. There were some things going on in my life that I didn’t want to look at, and so I distracted myself. I recently forced myself to face the past 6 months, and I will blog about that soon – because this blog is about my journey and how it can help others. That’s going to be a powerful and challenging blog post – and I don’t want to hold up my “come back” waiting for the perfect words.

My last post was about Goals, and that is what I want to address today. It is a new year, and many people take this time to create new goals for the year. In my last post I said I was going to set Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Trackable Goals. I actually did set these goals. I even created a goal poster and hung it where I would see it several times every day. So what happened? Why didn’t it work? What did I do wrong?

Sound familiar? Many of us go through this cycle of goal setting and there are many reasons why our best intentions don’t pan out. Sometimes we allow ourselves to get distracted by life. Something comes up and we make that a priority – instead of our goals. Sometimes our goals are not really attainable or realistic. Sometimes our goals are not really OUR GOALS (more on that later). Sometimes we need more accountability from others. Sometimes we are just not motivated by goals. There are many schools of thought out there on goals vs. intentions vs. resolutions vs. strategies vs. whatever you might want to call them. Some people work better with vision boards instead of goal posters. Some people work better with affirmations. Some people prefer Manifestation boards. There is no real comparison between all of these – other than what works for YOU. If what you are doing is not working for you, try something else. There is nothing wrong with you other than you just didn’t pick the right tool. It’s like reaching for a wrench and grabbing the wrong size. No big deal, just find a different tool. Don’t beat yourself up for grabbing the wrong tool!

I have found that vision boards work really well for me. I have several around my house with pictures and words that evoke the emotions of what I want to create in my life. I smile when I see some of the pictures and realize that they are part of my reality. So should I have created a vision board instead of a goal poster? Would that have made a difference? No. I’ve actually created vision boards in the past with the same goals as my poster, and those vision boards never created the same emotions. No, it turns out that my problem is that the goal was not really my goal.

Ironically, I realized that the problem was the goal while I was doing some soul searching on my “WHY”. I’ve been trying to find my why for so many years. Several times I’ve thought I had it, but because I was attaching it to the wrong WHAT… it was like trying to pound a square block into a round hole. For years my goal has been to become a Sales Director. I have all of the tools, talent, resources, skills, mentoring, and even the leads and the clients to get it done – but it was not happening. WHY did I want to become a sales director? I wanted to be on stage at company events, telling my story to motivate and inspire others. I wanted to train others. I wanted to mentor and motivate. I absolutely love and believe in the company I was working with and I believe 100% in the opportunity because I have seen so many women be so successful with the company.

My true goal is to be on stage. As a little girl I wanted to be a Rockstar. I now realize that I can fulfill my little girl dream by getting up on that stage and being a motivational speaker. I can entertain others and I can train them. I can motivate, inspire and coach on and off that stage. The reason I have not become a sales director is because I don’t really want to become a sales director. I can still be involved with the company as a great consultant, and I can still be a leader on my own. Now that I know my true goal – I get to find out what works best for me to attain it. I do know that for me I need a plan. I can’t get where I want to go without a map. I also need accountability. I’ve resisted accountability in the past, but every time I have been held accountable I have succeeded.

Time to stop resisting and start allowing.